Posted in Life, Marriage / Relationships, Self love

Stages of betrayal in a relationship/marriage…

This post is going to be a bit deeper than my other’s. I am not an expert but I wanted to come & share a bit of what I think the stages and feelings of betrayal are speaking from experience. I won’t go into it in too much detail out of respect for my son’s & I do agree we need to share our stories but also tread lightly as you don’t want to bash the other person even if they caused the harm or did the damage. When you share children and are still legally married and had a life together at some point it can be a bit touchy. It has taken me some time to go through all the stages, I am doing so much better thank God, he deserves the credit + all the self care/love that I’ve done. Don’t get discouraged if this has happened to you recently… healing is NOT an overnight process, and I am still doing the work. If it’s possible for me to help someone else that is going through or will go through betrayal I would hope this post is helpful & beneficial. 🤍 Remember your never alone and there are so many outlets that you can use.

  1. SHOCK – This is one is the first feelings/ emotions… some of us are taken completely by surprise. Other’s may have had a gut feeling something was off but you still didn’t have the proof. Deep down your hoping it isn’t true, but what I can say is from experience trust your gut. If something doesn’t feel right then most likely it isn’t (unfortunately) but look into it or talk to your partner depending on your relationship you will know how to bring it up. Always remember the truth always comes out… like that one quote says “What’s done in the darkness always comes to light”. Your even more so in shock when you have given your heart, trust and loyalty to someone & your thinking what is going on & what happened?
  2. ANGER– This comes shortly after if not along with shock. One thing about anger is it can really keep you stuck & it can make you bitter. I would say make sure your handling this part with caution & with wisdom. It can make you feel like your going crazy but your not! Trust me it is completely normal to feel very angry. Anger is a healthy normal emotion, but just don’t let it get the best of you or get in the way of you living your life & your healing process.
  3. HURT– So the pain that comes with betrayal is so agonizing & to be honest its hard to explain. I think its one of those pain’s that can only be understood once you go through it, I definitely wouldn’t wish this on anyone. It can really knock you down if you let it. Remember to let those emotions out in a healthy way, if you need to cry, do it. For me it’s strange because I am an emotional person, but I don’t like to let people see me cry. I think my kids have seen me cry probably less than 5 times and they are 16 and 9.. crazy right!? Recently a good friend of mine said you need to let it out and cry it out sometimes, but just keep moving forward. I really appreciated that advice because sometimes we think crying=weakness but it’s the opposite actually. In the bible it says Jesus wept.. so what does that tell you? Even the most high “wept” so you can too.
  4. EMBARRASSED/SHAME– This emotion can also be very difficult to endure since you start feeling ashamed or even insecure. What are people going to think? Was it me? What I want to put out there is it’s never your fault when someone betrays you! In my opinion you cannot control someone else’s action’s or behaviors, I believe it has to do 100% with someone’s character & morals. If you have given 100% + more to someone & just because you argue or don’t see eye to eye (as all couples do… no relationship is perfect and no two people are perfect) that doesn’t ever make it ok to betray them. Remind yourself of all your qualities write them down & read them out loud & remember who you are. ✨

A normal healthy minded person will not understand the concept of hurting someone they love no matter what they get out of it, remember LOVE is a moral act. It is very hard to hear this, but cheating is never an accident it is a choice. As humans we can be selfish of course, YES mistakes can happen… but a pattern & a mistake are two different things in my opinion, so make sure you aware of that. Some people are really truly sorry & want to do right and actually put in the work to make the appropriate changes to show you they won’t repeat the cycle. Not just for a little bit to get you back, but real long term growth. Actions speak louder than words period. Other times they are just sorry they got caught & they come back due to ego. They don’t want you to find better or move forward because they know you can & eventually will…especially if you have been honest, faithful & loving to that person. Who would want to lose someone like that, right?

I know so many women who say I will never forgive or go back to someone who cheated, but you really don’t know how it will play out unless it has happened to you. To be honest I really think it has to do with the person (who he/she is deep down inside) who cheated and your relationship as a whole to see if you can forgive and move forward, especially if you are married. I’ve seen certain marriages come back from infidelity, but there has to be a lot of work put into the marriage. I never say just leave a marriage, but God wouldn’t want you to be hurt by someone over and over & in a toxic situation. That is why God wants us all to be healthy and whole before we find someone to share our lives with so that we are in healthy loving marriage’s.

Don’t ever think if you leave someone its the end , its just the beginning! Not everyone is the same, their are good people out there. Focus on yourself, heal, grow and last but not least GLOW! God has your back & when the time is right and your ready & healed before you know it someone special who see’s the amazing woman or man, lol you are will be right in front of you. 🤗👑

Thanks for reading & visiting my blog 🤍 Comment below what helped you get through a betrayal if you have gone through it.

Also I wanted to share this devotional/book I bought & it has helped me a lot ;

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Super cute & yummy valentine’s day 💗 non bake cheesecake to share with your special someone ❣

Do you have special plans for V-day? If I get a chance I love to bake or cook something fun for each holiday . I get inspired by looking on Pinterest & trying new recipes & changing a few things to see how it works out. I ended up finding this non bake strawberry cheesecake on this website; https://lidiacookbook.com/valentines-day-cheesecake/ it looked super cute, but I wanted to make it a heart shape instead. I have made cheesecake’s before but not the non bake kind, and let me tell you…lol. My biggest tip is you have to beat the heavy cream into peaks. Not sure if I did that correctly since mine almost messed up, but I was able to save it & it came out fine, but now I know for next time. I think its all about learning as you go & you just get better and better 😉

Ingredients:

Crust-

  • 2 1/2 cups of Oreo cookies
  • 6 tablespoons of unsalted butter, melted

Cheesecake-

  • 16 oz cheesecake, softened
  • 2 cups heavy cream
  • 1 cup of powdered sugar
  • 1 teaspoon of strawberry extract
  • 2 cups of fresh strawberry’s, chopped
  • A few drops of pink or red food coloring ( I used red, couldn’t find pink)
  • Heart shaped sprinkles for top or V-day colored sprinkles (whichever you can find)
All ingredients shown – The only thing is I used sprinkles instead of those round chocolate’s I was going to put on top

For the crust-

You can crush the cookies using a food processor , but I don’t have one. I just put the cookies in a large kitchen storage bag and crushed them with a rolling pin. I melted the butter and poured it on top of the crushed cookies. Put cooking spray on butter on the bottom of your pan… I wanted to add a very important part if you want to remove your cheesecake easier from the pan place parchment paper right before you add your crust to the bottom of the pan. <- I wish I did this because it was very hard to remove my cheesecake. After that press the crumb mixture into the bottom of the pan. Put it in the freezer while you finish the filling.

Strawberry cheesecake-

Put your strawberries in a blender and puree & put to the side

In a bowl mix cream cheese and powdered sugar until smooth & put to the side

In another bowl mix the 2 cups of heavy cream until peaks form , add Strawberry extract ( this part is super important)

Add cream cheese mixture & mix on low if your using a hand held mixer

Divide mixture in half – first half of mixture add Strawberry puree and a couple drops of food coloring (to get your desired color) & mix on low speed then pour over crust

The other half of mixture carefully spoon over the Strawberry filling, I used a spatula to make it cleaner looking and it helped even it out just be very light handed

Put in fridge 6 hours or even overnight

Add sprinkles & serve 😍

So I would say this was actually pretty fun to make & the flavor came out pretty good. To be honest for me the baking cheesecakes are easier but I will definitely try another non-bake cheesecake. It looks like places are opening up here in Southern California again, so I don’t know how many of us are staying in for V-day.I just thought I would share just in case anyone wants to make their hunny’s a special dessert 🥰

I couldn’t link the heart shaped pan since I found it on sale at Tj Maxx & the sprinkles I found at Ralphs. Also the plate & mailbox are from the $99 cent store they have really cute Valentine’s day items.

Thanks for visiting!🤗 If your not following me on IG do so & let me know in the comments below if your making something for your special person or if your going to try this out.

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Affordable boy fashion finds at Old Navy 👦🏽

Kids grow out of their clothes so fast I feel like every season they need something new ! It’s crazy, am I right? I use to shop at Cotton On Kids for my youngest since he was a toddler but their clothing only goes up to size 10, so sadly we don’t shop their anymore 😔 I do recommend their clothing though… they always have such cute clothes all the time. Now I order or go to Zara Kids I love the style of their clothing, and sometimes Target but it’s hit or miss. We were out & about shopping one day and there was no Zara, so we went into Old Navy & we weren’t thinking we would find anything because he can be picky…so I wasn’t sure how this was going to go, lol. Surprisingly he liked so many shirts and he says they are so soft and comfortable ! I was so happy about that & so I wanted to share because most of the shirts were between $5-$15 which is super affordable & I noticed some of the ones I paid full price for are on sale now.😉 I know boy’s are usually easy to shop for, but sometimes it can be difficult depending on the child. I hope this is helpful & I will link below what we ended up purchasing.

Unfortunately we didn’t find any shorts or bottoms they didn’t have his size at the store & he was being super picky about those anyway. I did see these shorts at the store and they were so soft, so I wanted to either order them or go find them at another location; https://shopstyle.it/l/bq23z

They also have these super cute Valentines Day graphic tees right now;https://shopstyle.it/l/bq23U; https://shopstyle.it/l/bq23V

I also loved this Scooby-Doo graphic tee; https://shopstyle.it/l/bq23Z

I am also in the middle of doing a closet cleanout of all his clothes that do not fit anymore & I have them listed on my Posh Mark if anyone is interested or wants to share my link😉; https://posh.mk/Sr2WofTuCcb

Thanks for visiting & I hope this is helpful! Comment below what stores you shop at for your boy’s. Also if you end up ordering any of these items 💙

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My top 4 perfumes on a budget ❣

I love perfumes, but I don’t like to spend too much. I always try to shop around and find a good deal! I noticed Tj Maxx & Marshall’s has some of the high end brands but they don’t carry testers so you have to know what your looking for specifically. I usually tend to go for the soft, fruity scents that are not too strong. I also like the scents that last longer, I really don’t like to carry around perfume and have to spray it back on throughout the day. As a mom we carry enough things in our purses , right!? Lol..😂

  1. Vince Camuto- FioriThis perfume is explained to be a delicate fresh light floral scent ( Nectarine, Bellini, Pink Grapefruit scents) This has been one of my favorites for a year or two I am always replacing it. I love the scent because it is soft not too strong, but you don’t need to spray too much on the body for it to last the whole day. This one I sometimes find at Marshall’s, but right now I see it on the Nordstrom Rack website on sale at a really good price I don’t know how long it will be available ; https://shopstyle.it/l/bqQM9 . It is also on Amazon but a little more pricey;

2. Marc Jacobs- Daisy– This has been a favorite for years ! This one is described as a fruity floral smell.. this one just smells so good you can never go wrong. I don’t have this one right now, but once I am finished with another one in my rotation.. I will most likely go grab this one again. Amazon has it at a really good price right now!

3. Philosophy- Amazing grace Magnolia– So on my last trip to Ulta I received a sample of this and I fell in love with the smell right away & a few weeks later I went to the store and bought it. This one is new to me, but it is so good! It’s described as harmonious, breezy, and complex. This one is a newer scent so it isn’t on sale, but the price point is pretty good & I was so surprised it stays on all day.👌🏽 You can get it at Ulta; https://shopstyle.it/l/bqQMZ

4. MAC- Shadescents Creme D’Nude– Hands down if you can get this one! Smells so good.. its described as sexy amber musk, with hints of caramel. This to me has a vanilla scent but its not too strong, I was so excited when this one came out because I love the lipstick Creme D’Nude. If you haven’t tried the lipstick and you love nude colors you should check it out. I ran out of this perfume, so I need to get another I have already bought it about 3 or 4 times! Nordstrom has it right now;https://shopstyle.it/l/bqQL9. Amazon has it as well;

What are your go to fragrances? Or any that you have been wanting to try out? Comment below 😁

Thanks for visiting & if your not following me on Instagram do so!

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Beauty product’s review! 💋

I hope everyone is doing well!

I recently purchased 4 new beauty products and was surprisingly so happy with them ! I wanted to share, and talk a little about each product just in case any of you are wanting to try something new or want to spoil yourself a little😉 I usually purchase at Ulta because I think the rewards are better, but some brands aren’t available there so I go to Sephora.

Milk blur liquid foundation ; Kat Von D Shade Light Palette; Makeup by Mario Matte Palette; Stila liquid eyeshadow; Kylie cosmetics blush
  • Milk Blur Liquid Matte Foundation– (my color is Warm Medium) Honestly it’s very hard for me to like a foundation I’ve tried so many different ones. I usually look for full coverage not cakey, matte , but also breathable. Those are hard to find in one foundation because usually full coverage can feel heavy on the skin. This foundation is very light weight and blurs the pores, but also has amazing coverage. I love it and how it looks on the skin! It is a bit watery but make sure you shake well before you apply. I applied it with my beauty blender & it worked just fine. The reviews made me nervous about the smell, but I didn’t notice a smell that strong. When it comes to makeup I am more worried about the product itself not so much the smell 🤷🏽‍♀️ The price was a little high for me but I do recommend it! I think this will be in rotation along with my other go to foundations. I purchased mine at Sephora; https://shopstyle.it/l/bqF8u
  • Kat Von D Shade & Light Palette– (color lyric/shadow play) This I didn’t recently buy, but I wanted to review it because I haven’t found an undereye powder quite like this one. I have tried different ones even the cheaper brands but the color is off or it doesn’t give me the brightness I want. This is by far a product I don’t think I can be without. It stays on all day doesn’t crease or set into your fine lines 👌🏽 I use the darker color to contour of course. The price is good & overall I hope they don’t stop selling it, lol. This one is at Sephora; https://shopstyle.it/l/bqF8D
  • Makeup by Mario Mattes Palette– OK! This is by far such an amazing palette for even beginners! You can do so many different looks with just this one palette. You can take it on vacation or use it every morning for an everyday look at the office or just a quick one to two eyeshadow makeup look. The darker colors you can also use to transform your look into a night time smoky eye. This just has everything in one and the colors are neutral so you cant go wrong. I ordered it on sale and on whim, I’ve also been a huge fan of Mario but I was blown away by this palette. This one you can get at Sephora; https://shopstyle.it/l/bqI3u . It is also for sale on his website as well.
  • Stila Glitter & Glow Liquid Eyeshadow– (Bronzed Ball)- I own two of these, but this is the new color I bought and I love it. It dries quickly and creates the most beautiful glitter look you can put it directly on the lid.. on top of a base or an eyeshadow. I also apply it to my bottom lash line if I want more of a pop to my eyes. I really think these are great to have and are so pretty, I highly recommend buying one. I bought mine at Ulta;https://shopstyle.it/l/bqI3x
  • Kylie Cosmetics Blush– (We’re going shopping)- Last but not least this blush. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to pay the price,( I have a lot of blushes so I didn’t know if I should try another) but I heard good things about it so decided to try it out. I was so happy with the color it is so pretty! It is soft but also has great color payoff. A little goes a long way, trust me. It wears well, I will definitely be getting another color later. I bought this one at Ulta;https://shopstyle.it/l/bqI2m

Comment below if you have any beauty product recommendations.. also let me know if you are going to try any of these out, or if you already have! Thanks for reading & if your not already doing so follow me on Instagram 🤍

Matte Brown Neutral Look using the Makeup by Mario palette

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5 easy but cute mom outfits! 🛍

Who wants to look put together, but also loves to be comfortable?! I have always loved fashion, I use to be somewhat of a hoarder. I am so much better now with what I purchase & don’t just purchase on a whim, lol. I do like to dress up for a special occasion & if I go out somewhere nice maybe throw a dress and heels on, but the usual is casual & cute. Being a busy mom for everyday I like my outfits to be quick & I like to get going! I really like to purchase pieces that I can use for a while & that I can style easily. I also am learning how to save, and shop smart and catch items on sale. Honestly I don’t like to purchase too many items full price👎🏽 unless I really need or want the item & I have the funds at the time. If your a Nordstrom shopper…download the app put all the items you like on your wish list and it will alert you when the items go on sale! I do this all the time, lol and it also helps me really decide if I want that item and/or if I will get a lot of use out of it. Sounds odd, lol but hey it works for me! I do share more outfits on Instagram, so if you want more inspo follow me there.

Outfit #1 : Johnny Cash graphic tee by Day Dreamer LA (this brand has really amazing tees and the shirts are so soft, but they are pricey so I do wait for them to go on sale most of the time) this one is no longer available, but I am linking some other cute ones;https://shopstyle.it/l/bqw8j ; https://shopstyle.it/l/bqw8m ; https://shopstyle.it/l/bqw8j. These jeans are some of my favorites from Abercrombie & Fitch they have GREAT quality jeans, but definitely wait until they go on sale. Linking these; https://shopstyle.it/l/bqs9U

Outfit #2: Tie Dye tee from Nordstrom brand is Codexmode link; https://shopstyle.it/l/bqw8s runs pretty true to size this fabric is so soft and forgiving. I love neon & I didn’t own anything like this. Jeans are also Abercrombie & Fitch these are a dark gray and I have been actually wearing them a lot more than I thought, highly recommend; https://shopstyle.it/l/bqs9X

Outfit #3: Van Halen Graphic Tee from Urban Outfitters this one is still available; https://shopstyle.it/l/bqtbG there are two sizes only S/M & L/XL but they are oversized and forgiving. Same jeans as outfit #1 ; https://shopstyle.it/l/bqs9U. I found this hat at World Market, it was a great find.. I talked myself into it since I had a coupon, lol. My oldest son always makes fun of me with the “coupons” but like I tell him life is hard & if I can save money I will!

Outfit #4: Target Def Leppard Tie Dye Sweatshirt; https://shopstyle.it/l/bqtbu this one I did get a size bigger because I feel like some of Target’s clothes runs small…it all depends on the brand. These jeans are Abercrombie & Fitch again😆 but a darker wash and no rips; https://shopstyle.it/l/bqw9r Beanie is from a few years ago

Outfit #5: Aerosmith graphic tee is from Nordstrom; https://shopstyle.it/l/bqw9s this one is so soft & I loved the style! Leggings are Spanx faux leather leggings; https://shopstyle.it/l/bqw9w.These are pricey but definitely worth the investment if you can or want to purchase. If not wait & they do go on sale from time to time. I would size up because they are compression leggings. Same hat from World Market

I am not sure about you, but I love graphic tees & sweaters right now 😍. I feel like it really gives an extra something to your outfit, and they are so fun. I do a front tuck into my jeans, but you can also knot them in the front or to the side, you can really do so much with graphic tees. Throw on a cardigan, jean jacket or a leather jacket.

I would like to start sharing more outfit ideas on here, possibly like a few of my favorite looks or must have pieces🤔. How does that sound? Also Let me know if your daily look is more of a casual but cute or all the way dressed up?

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Improve your life in 2021!🎉 Using these 5 tips …

Its 2021! Who is excited ?! I am so excited to start a new year and I am hoping to slowly smash some of my goals 😃 I hope some of these tips can help someone improve themselves this year & give them some motivation.

  1. Make sure you get adequate rest especially if you have kids; if they are at a age where they take naps take a nap with them. Sleep when they sleep 😉 If there is no way around that, make sure you go to bed at a decent time so you can get your full 8 hours. As the days go by if you don’t get your full 8 hours you start to feel very burnout. Try taking a warm bath before bed, or use those sleep sound apps.

2. Exercise this one has helped me a whole lot! If you suffer from anxiety or even stress…exercise releases those endorphins which help you feel better. If you can’t go to the gym then go out for a walk and try to do a brisk walk so you can break a sweat. I also found so many good work out videos on YouTube that you can do at home if for some reason you don’t have child care, its raining or for whatever reason. I will link a few that I do : https://youtu.be/IFQmOZqvtWg ; https://youtu.be/_r3AAdEFVNM ; https://youtu.be/05fCNM9f0ic

3. Drink more water 💦 This one is sort of obvious but sometimes we are so busy we tend to forget or I know some people who don’t like plain water. It really helps with so much… your health, your skin, your overall energy. You can squeeze lemon into your water which I personally love, or infuse it with cucumber or strawberries. I’ve seen so many different ways to infuse water! I don’t know about you but sometimes my body alerts me that I need more water , you can get dehydrated so quickly. I will link this affordable Amazon water bottle that helps keeping you on track with water drinking :

4. Don’t compare or compete with anyone! We all have moments where we do this, we are human so it happens, but don’t stay stuck. You are your own person and your individuality shines and you can do what no one else can. Focus on your strengths and work on your weaknesses. Always strive to be better than you were today or yesterday. Growth is key!

5. Read your bible or watch your favorite motivational speaker/ read your favorite quotes this really helps if you could do this in the mornings, so you can start your day on a positive note 😁 I’ve noticed this has helped me. There are motivational apps you can follow that send you daily quotes ( Motivation-Daily Quotes) or the Bible app ( you version) they have daily verses , or you can start a plan. Usually plans go for a few days, you can search by plans on what topic your looking for biblical help on. If you have time to read some of your bible I own this bible journal its a little pricey but I love it :

You can check this one out too it is better priced & has good reviews :

I really love the idea of having motivational cards on your desk; I gifted some to my oldest son for Christmas to keep him positive. These are geared toward women and such a good price , they look super cute :

Comment below what your goals are for 2021 & if you have any other tips to add. Also follow me on Instagram if your not already 😉